Returning Home Can Be Both Joyful and Disorienting
For expats and international students, returning home for the holidays is often highly anticipated. There’s comfort in familiar places, reunions with loved ones, favourite traditions, and the sense of “coming back.” And yet, many people are surprised by how emotionally challenging it can feel. This experience is often linked to reverse culture shock — a lesser-talked-about but very real adjustment that can surface when returning to a home country after time abroad. During the holidays, when expectations are high and emotions are already heightened, these feelings can be even more intense.
What Is Reverse Culture Shock? Reverse culture shock happens when someone returns home after living abroad and feels unexpectedly out of sync with their surroundings, relationships, or sense of identity. While it’s common to expect adjustment challenges when moving to a new country, many people don’t expect that coming home can feel just as destabilizing. You’ve changed. Your experiences have expanded your worldview, routines, independence, and values — even if others around you don’t immediately see it.
Why the Holidays Can Make Reverse Culture Shock Stronger The holiday period often intensifies reverse culture shock for expats and international students because:
- There is pressure to “slide back in” as if nothing has changed Family and friends may expect you to be exactly who you were before leaving
- Questions about life choices, career paths, or future plans come up quickly
- Social calendars are full, leaving little time to decompress Emotional comparisons between “then” and “now” become more noticeable
Alongside joy and gratitude, many people experience:
Irritability or emotional exhaustion A sense of distance or not fully belonging Guilt for feeling unsettled when “everything should feel good” Confusion about where home truly is All of this is normal — and it doesn’t mean something is wrong.
Common Signs of Reverse Culture Shock You might notice:
- Feeling overstimulated or overwhelmed more easily
- Wanting familiar routines from life abroad
- Feeling misunderstood or unseen Withdrawing socially even while surrounded by people
- Missing your life abroad sooner than expected
These reactions are not a failure to appreciate home — they are signs of growth and transition.
Gentle Ways to Support Yourself During a Holiday Return If you’re navigating reverse culture shock this season, consider:
- Lowering expectations — for yourself and others
- Taking breaks to rest and regulate your nervous system
- Letting mixed emotions exist without needing to “fix” them
- Staying connected to supportive people who understand your international experience
- Naming what’s happening — putting language to the experience can be grounding Adjustment takes energy, even when the return is positive
When Support Can Help For some expats and international students, reverse culture shock brings up deeper questions around identity, belonging, family dynamics, or future direction. Talking with a counsellor who understands international transitions can help you process these experiences with more clarity and compassion. If the holidays feel heavier than expected, support doesn’t have to wait until you’re back abroad.
Online Counselling Support for Expats and International Students I provide online counselling for expats and international students, supporting individuals who are navigating transitions, identity shifts, and emotional challenges related to living abroad — including the complexity of returning home. Support is available wherever you are in the world. Learn more or book a session at https://taraleighcounselling.ca/
Tara Webber
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