How to encourage your Teen to try Counselling

 How to Encourage Your Teen to Attend Counselling: A Parent’s Guide  

Having worked as a counsellor with teens for over two decades I have had many conversations with parents who are having difficulty talking to their teen about trying counselling. Many Teens show up to my office for the first visit feeling defensive or shut down because they feel that they have been " sent" to counselling as a punishment or as an "ultimatum". This makes the possibility of counselling being helpful much more unlikely.

The good news is, there are supportive, respectful ways to open the conversation and encourage them to give therapy a try. Counselling can be a powerful resource for teens — helping them navigate stress, build confidence, and develop healthy coping skills.

Parenting a teenager is full of ups and downs. As much as you want to be there for them, there are times when your teen may seem withdrawn, overwhelmed, or stuck. Parents might notice changes in mood, behaviour, or motivation and wonder if counselling could help. But when you suggest it, your teen might shut down or resist the idea altogether. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many parents struggle with how to get their teen to attend counselling. 

In this blog, we’ll look at why teens may resist counselling, how parents can approach the conversation, and practical strategies to make the idea of therapy feel less intimidating.

Why Teens Resist Counselling

When a teen pushes back against counselling, it doesn’t mean they don’t need help. Often, resistance comes from fear or misunderstanding. Here are a few common reasons:

• Fear of judgment or being “labeled.” Many teens worry that going to counselling means something is “wrong” with them.  
• Concerns about confidentiality. Teens may wonder, “Will the counsellor tell my parents everything I say?” Trust is a big factor.     
• Believing they don’t need help. Some teens genuinely feel they can manage on their own, or they downplay their struggles.     
• Stigma around mental health. Despite progress, many young people still see therapy as something unusual or negative. Understanding these barriers helps parents respond with empathy rather than frustration.

How Parents Can Open the Conversation

Bringing up counselling can be delicate. The goal is to create a safe, pressure-free space where your teen feels heard. Here are some ways to start:

• Choose the right moment. Timing matters. Try when things are calm, not in the middle of conflict or high stress. A car ride, a walk, or after dinner can work well. 
• Listen more than you talk. Begin with curiosity: “How have you been feeling lately?” Give them room to share without jumping in too quickly.     
• Express care, not control. Instead of “You need counselling,” try “I care about you, and I want you to have support if you’re feeling overwhelmed.”    
• Acknowledge their perspective. Even if you don’t agree, validate what they feel: “I hear that you’re not sure about this, and that makes sense.” When the conversation comes from a place of love and understanding, your teen is more likely to stay open.

Ways to Make Counselling Less Intimidating 

Counselling doesn’t have to feel clinical or scary. Parents can help by showing that therapy is just another form of support, not a punishment. Here are some strategies:   

• Normalize it. Compare counselling to seeing a coach, tutor, or doctor — it’s simply about getting support in a specific area of life. 
• Offer choices. Teens value independence. Involve them in picking the counsellor, format (online, in-person, or walk-and-talk), and even session times.    
• Highlight privacy. Explain that what they share is confidential, except in cases of safety concerns. This can ease fears about parents knowing every detail.     
• Start small. Suggest trying just one session to see what it’s like, rather than committing long-term right away. By framing therapy as flexible and teen-friendly, you reduce the pressure and increase their sense of control.

What Parents Should Avoid Doing

Sometimes, our good intentions can backfire. Here are a few things to steer clear of when encouraging your teen to try counselling: 

• Don’t use therapy as a threat. Saying “If you don’t behave, you’re going to counselling” only makes it feel like punishment   
• Don’t minimize their feelings. Avoid comments like “It’s not that bad” or “You’ll be fine.” These can shut down communication.
• Don’t compare them to others. Saying “Your sister didn’t need counselling” or “Other kids your age are fine”increases shame. 
• Don’t rush the process. Change takes time. For some teens, just planting the seed of counselling is a valuable first step.  

When to Seek Extra Support 

It’s normal for teens to resist at first, but there are times when parents should seek additional help:   

• Daily life is impacted. If your teen is struggling with school, friendships, or family life in a way that doesn’t improve, counselling can be a lifeline.     
• Signs of severe distress. Watch for persistent sadness, anxiety, withdrawal, self-harm behaviours, or talk of hopelessness.    Family stress is high. Sometimes, starting with family counselling helps reduce resistance and creates a supportive path forward. If you’re unsure, a consultation with a mental health professional can help you decide next steps. 

Final Thoughts 

Encouraging your teen to attend counselling can feel like a balancing act — you want to support them without pushing too hard. Remember that resistance is often about fear, not defiance. By listening with empathy, offering choices, and normalizing therapy, you can help your teen feel safe enough to take the first step. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but even small shifts in how you talk about counselling can make a difference. And when your teen is ready, counselling can provide them with tools, confidence, and a sense of hope for the future.

If your teen is struggling, I offer compassionate, teen-friendly counselling both online and in Sherwood Park. Together, we can create a safe space where they feel understood and supported. Reach out today to learn more or to book a session.